 |
|
Phong
Tøc TÆp Quán!
[Top of Page]
Giá
trÎ cûa væn hoá và phong tøc cûa gia Çình. Gia Çình là mt niŠn täng quang
tr†ng Çã in sâu vào Ç©i sÓng xã hi cûa ViŒt Nam chúng ta. Chû nghiã cá nhân
ª phiá Tây là mt s¿ tÜÖng phÆn ÇÓi v§i mt trung tâm, xã hi ViŒt Nam cûa chúng
ta là mt s¿ thân mÆt ÇÓi v§i trong gia Çình. Hi‰u là mt cÖ bän ÇÙc hånh cûa
ngÜ©i con hi‰u thäo. ñiŠu này chÌ dÅn ljn š ki‰n cûa tình yêu, sæn sóc và
kính tr†ng cûa nh»ng ngÜ©i con ÇÓi v§i cha mË. B°n phÆn này là mt s¿ không
ÇiŠu kiŒn, k‹ cä trong mt trÜ©ng h®p cha mË, ai Çã bÕ bê con cái ho¥c không
hoàn thành nhiŒm vø cûa ngÜ©i cha hay ngÜ©i mË. Con cái Çã ÇÜ®c dåy d‡ nh»ng
ÇÙc hånh này tØ khi còn nhÕ tu°i. S¿ ti‰n triÍn xã hi ngày càng tæng thêm
ª nhà v§i s¿ dåy d‡ Ö nÖi Ông Bà và Cha MË. S¿ ti‰n triÍn h†c vÃn này ti‰p
tøc ti‰n lên tØ ÇÀu cho ljn cuÓi cûa mt ÇÙa con lúc tu°i còn trÈ và là mt
s¿ tæng cÜ©ng ljn tÃt cä s¿ thành lÆp trong xã hi này. Mt s¿ n‡i ti‰ng nhÃt
cûa ngÜ©i ViŒt Nam chúng ta chúng ta có câu chân ngôn là 'Công Cha nhÜ núi
Thái SÖn, nghïa MË nhÜ nܧc trong nguÒn chäy ra. Mt lòng th© mË kính cha,
cho tròn ch» hi‰u m§i là Çåo con'. NguÒn gÓc phong tøc xã hi cûa ngÜ©i ViŒt
Nam Çó là mt vÎ trí làng xã Çã cung cÃp cá nhân v§i trí giác cûa cng ÇÒng
và bäo Çãm trong khä næng thù ÇÎch Ç
ܮc
nh»ng môi trÜ©ng này. Cái này cùng v§i s¿ quang tr†ng tåo nên hŒ thÓng mª
rng quang hŒ h† hàng cûa gia Çình. Tr†ng giáo døc væn hoá cûa ngÜ©i ViŒt nam
trong mt gia Çình, b°n phÆn cá nhân là sÙc månh cho t§i y‰u và ít thuÆn l®i
cho nh»ng ngÜ©i trong gia Çình ho¥c làng xã. Nh»ng hành Çng trong m‡i gia
Çình phän chi‰u trong cùng mt gia Çình, cho là mt thành tích xÃu h‡. ñó là
mt š thÙc cûa b°n phÆn và mt ÇiŠu kiŒn cho s¿ bäo vŒ phúc l®i cû tØng nhà
vì tÃt cä gia Çình. Mt cá nhân ai Çã tØng Çåt ÇÜ®c danh ti‰n ª phi t°n cûa
gia Çìnhlà mÃt h‰t can Çäm và k‹ cä phê chuÄn. Gia Çình ª ViŒt Nam cÛng là
mt s¿ phi t°n, không giÓng tiêu bi‹u 'håt nhân' cûa gia Çình ª nܧc MÏ này.
Phong tøc gia Çình Çã sáng tác trong 3 t§i 5 th‰ hŒ sÓng chung trong mt nhà
k‹ cä tiêu bi‹u cha mË, con cái, ông bà, và thÌnh thÕang cÆu gì chÜa lÆp gia
Çình. Kéo dài theo hành Çng gia Çình nhÜ mt nguÒn sÓng chÓng Ǫ lÅn nhau và
nhÜ s¿ thành lÆp ª nh»ng nÖi có nhiŠu chuyŒn cá nhân và xã hi xung Çt có th‹
giäi quy‰t. Dù cách nào, lÎch s» cûa nhiŠu chi‰n tranh Çã thay Ç°i cæn bän
k‰t cÃu cûa gia Çình ViŒt Nam chúng ta. Vì vÆy nhiŠu ngÜ©i trong gia Çình
và cá nhân Çã gi‰t ch‰t trong lúc chi‰n tranh khác nhau, nó có th‹ dÅn t§i
duy trì mong ch© mt c° Çåi truyŠn thuy‰t và thói quen. M¥c dù gia Çình k‰t
cÃu vÅn ÇÜa ra mt lÀn trong Çiå vΠǥt biŒt cûa mt thành phÓ. Gi§i hån cûa
gia Çình chÌ có t§i 3 th‰ hŒ, Ông Bà, Cha MË, và con cháu. Nܧc ViŒt Nam cÛng
có tc trÜ«ng hŒ thÓng cûa mt ngÜ©i Çàng ông, ho¥c mt ngÜ©i chÒng phøc vø nhÜ
ngÜ©i ÇÙng ÇÀu là trách nhiŒm cung cÃp cho gia Çình. NgÜ©i Çàn bà là gánh
n¥ng cûa công viŒc riêng trong nhà và muôi nÃn con cái.
Cܧi Hõi:
[Top of Page]
Mt c¥p
v® chÒng cÛng thæm dò thÀy bói Ç‹ coi sÓ phÆn có h®p và thuÆn l®i ngày Ç‹
làm lÍ nghi hay không. S¿ ÇŠ nghÎ cûa lÍ nghi và cܧi hÕi Ç¥c trÜóc mt hay
hai næm trܧc khi làm Çám cܧi. Mãy phong tøc này là không còn tÒn tåi quang
sát và l‹ Çám hÕi có th‹ làm trong 2 tuÀn trܧc khi Çám cܧi. L‹ Çám cܧi
gÒm có 2 phÀn: Trong ngày thÙ nhÃt, chú r‹ v§i cha mË cûa chú r‹ và mt nhóm
gia 
Çình
nho nhÕ ho¥c là bån bè Çi t§i nhà gái Ç‹ tìm xin phép cûa cha mË làm Çám cܧi.
Trong phong tøc s¿ hiŒn diŒn cûa chú r‹ là Çem cau trÀu làm
l‹ bên nhà gái. Sau khi chú r‹ làm s¿ ÇŠ nghÎ cܧi hÕi, bên nhà gái làm mt
l‹ rÃt ÇÖn dän cho t° tiên cûa h† trên bàn th© trong nhà. Trong ngày thÙ hai,
có mt l‹ tiŒc cho h† hàng sau khi cô dâu vá chú r‹ làm l‹ nghi trܧc m¥t bàn
th©. Theo lŒ cûa phong tøc, trong l‹ nghi làm ª nhà chú r‹, dám h tr©i ÇÃt
cûa cܧi hÕi. Ông tÖ bà nguyŒt mang ljn hånh phúc cho Çôi v® chÒng.
| Funerals are elaborate because it is important to give the deceased the best possible send-off. To ensure a comfortable after-life, the family provides colorful model paper houses, "spirit money," and other necessities that are burned to enable the departed soul to use them.During the wake, relatives take turns at guarding the coffin during the night for it is believed that if a cat lands on the coffin, the body will jump abruptly. Previously, a coin was placed in the mouth of the deceased for luck and a bowl of rice was left on the coffin. In some parts of Vietnam, a knife is rested on the stomach of the dead person to ward off evil spirits.For the funeral procession, family members put on mourning clothes of sackcloth or gauze. After the burial, family members go through a period of mourning that could last from nine months to three years. |
More traditional
Vietnamese wear a mourning band on their sleeve during this time and
refrain from going to parties or indulging in other entertainment.Exhumation
is commonly practiced. Three years after the burial, family members
exhume the body from the gravesite and collect the bones of the deceased.
The bones are cleaned and place in a small earthen coffin for reburial.
The dead are not forgotten. A photograph is usually placed on the family
altar at home and sometimes also in a temple. Offerings in the form
of food or incense are made to the spirit of the deceased on special
occasions and on the death anniversary. |
THE
ROLE MAN
[Top of Page]
To
be a man, one must take four important steps: First, he must know how to cultivate
himself (Tu Tha^n). In order to achieve this step, he must meet five requirements:
1) He must adhere to rites and ceremonies. 2) Strictly observe the family
and social hierarchies (Le^~). 3) He must help the need and desperate (Nghi~a).
4) He must have strong will power and determination (Chi'), and 5) He should
consistent and loyal so that people can trust and have confidence in him (Ti'n).
Then he must govern or run his own family properly (Te^` Gia). Without these
two prerequisites he might not be able to rule the country (Tri. Quo^'c).
And after fulfillment of the three above required steps might hie pacify the
whole world (Bi`nh Thie^n Ha.). 
The Vietnamese man or more accurately the husband
is the boss, or he claims to be one. In traditional conditions, he is breadwinner
and decision-maker for his family. He is supposedly the most important member
of the family and definitely has a higher status than his wife. He has the
power to control all the things in the family. When the decisions must be
made regarding important issues such as the mirage of his children. He usually
consults not only his wife and the children concerned but also other members
of his family, such as his parents, his parents in-law, his brothers and sisters,
his uncles and aunts, etc. But the final decision is still his, and appropriate
actions are taken.
THE
ROLE OF WOMAN
[Top of Page]
Vietnamese woman are highly regarded by Westerners,
who find them very graceful and gentle with all sorts of qualities that men
look for. As young girls, they expected to keep their virginity until they
get married and to getmarried only once in their life. As married women, they
are expected to respect and be faithful to their husbands and accept whatever
fate might come. When a woman gets married, she is no longer considered to
belong to her family but becomes a member of her husband's family. In other
words, she is assumed to have a new duty and responsibility toward her husband
and in-laws only.Our women are taught to be observe three basic practices:
While they are still under their parents' protection, they must be obedient
to their fathers (Ta.i Gia To`ng Phu.). When they get married, they have to
be submissive to their husbands (Xua^'t Gia' To`ng Phu). When their husbands
die, they must listen to their grown-up sons (Phu. Tu* To`ng Tu*). Under the
old custom and good woman must have four feminine virtues: 1) She must be
good at housework, needlework, or any work peculiar to women (Co^ng). 2) She
must have feminine deportment and appearance (Dung). 3) She must speak gently
and be careful with her speech (Ngo^n). 4) She must show good conduct and
act in a virtuous way (Ha.nh). And last but not least, when they go out, they
have to dress properly and they had to have permission from their parents
in order to go anywhere.
The role of women has traditionally been confined
to the home. They are expected to bring up and educate their children, take
care of the household, and not only serve their husbands in every respect,
but also their husband's families as well. They are expected to sacrifice
themselves for their husbands and children husbands and children.
THE
ROLE OF CHILDREN
[Top of Page] 
Vietnamese children are
polite and behave themselves at home and outside. They are subject to discipline,
especially at school, and are taught to be absolutely obedient to their older
siblings, relatives, and parents. They are also told to obey, respect, and
listen to older people.
At home children are expected to help parents,
take care of their younger siblings or aging grandparents, and do whatever
they can in the way of babysitting, cooking, cleaning, washing, and so on
and on, depending on their age and the economic situation of their family.
At school children show great respect for their
teachers and school administrators. Discipline is strictly observed, and any
violations will result in severe punishments.Courting and dating are never
encouraged by the parents nor practiced by the majority of young people. Casual
friendship between boys and girls does exist but usually on a reserved basis
and under strict control by parents or surveillance by school proctors. Girls
tend to get together with girls, boys tend to flock with boys, and the dividing
line in most cases is clear-out.
Bibliography
Book:
Cultures of the World Vietnam
by: Audrey Seah and Marshall Cavendish
Websites:
