Domestic Violence -
Recognizing Abuse

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is often mistaken as someone losing their temper or mutual fighting in a relationship. Domestic violence is NOT about getting angry or arguing - but it IS about power and control. It is a pattern of harmful behavior by one person intended to control another person within a romantic, intimate or family/household member relationship. People who experience domestic violence can be married or not married; heterosexual, gay or lesbian; living together, separated or dating; or relatives. Men, women and children of all ages, races and classes can be victims. Without intervention, domestic violence can get worse, and could end in death.

FORMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence can take many forms, some of which are illegal. It can happen all the time or once in a while. Regardless of what type of Domestic Violence you are experiencing, it is not your fault.

Some forms of domestic violence are:

Emotional or Verbal - Examples of emotional abuse can include insults, blaming, put downs, mind games and threats. Emotional abuse can be unpredictable, affect self-esteem, and make you doubt your own sense of reality.

Controlling/Intimidating - Examples include isolating you from family and friends; controlling your money; keeping you from getting a job or going to school; controlling or monitoring what you do and where you go; or destroying your property.

Physical - Physical abuse is any hurtful, intimidating or offensive touching or contact. It can involved grabbing, pushing, shoving or hitting, and could escalate to more serious injuries or death.

Sexual - Sexual abuse can involve degrading comments; unwanted touching; or harmful, forced sex.

In Washington State, it is illegal for your partner to hurt you physically, force you to have sex, threaten to hurt or kill you or your children, or destroy your property.

HOW DO I KNOW IT IS ABUSE?

The following are some signs of abuse to be aware of in a relationship. Recognizing the signs could help you stay safe. Someone who is abusive may:

• Act jealous or possessive and say it is out of love.
• Blame you for their behavior, saying "you're making me do this to you."
• Destroy or threaten to destroy your things.
• Threaten to hurt you, themselves, your family members, your friends, or your pets.
• Touch you in a way that hurst or scares you, or in any way that you do not want to be touched.
• Force sex or sexual acts in ways or at time that are not comfortable for you.
• Threaten to report you to immigration or to destroy your papers.
• Get angry unpredictably or in a way that scares you.
• Refuse to take responsibility for their own behavior. Instead, blames you, others, alcohol, stress, depression, etc.
• Belittle or make fun of your concerns and fears about your relationship.
• Threaten to "out" you to family, friends or work.
• Act like "Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde" by showing different personalities or acting differently in public than in private.
• Isolate you by making it difficult or impossible to be with your family or friends.
• Threaten to take your children and claim you won't see them again.
• Make promises to change but does not follow through.

(Taken from "Domestic Violence: Seattle Police Information and Resource Guide".)

POLICE RESPONSE:

If you are in immediate danger call 9-1-1

Seattle Police
Domestic Violence Unit
(206) 684-0330
Monday 8am - 5pm

Seattle Police
Victim Support Team
(206) 684-7721 (voicemail)
Friday 7pm - 3 am
Saturday 11am - 3am
Sunday 11am - 12am

Washington State
24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-562-6025

SHELTER:

New Beginnings
24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline
(206) 522-9472

Crisis Clinic Emergency Shelter Resources

JAIL INFORMATION:

King County Jail
To verify if an individual is in custody:
(206) 296-1234 or access the jail registry online at:
www.metrokc.gov/dad
/inmatelookup/

V.I.N.E System:
1 (877) 425-VINE (8463)
www.vinelink.com
To register for automatic notificationof an inmates release.

COMPUTER RELATED:

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